Stop pointing out the bad stuff — try finding the good

“That’s cool, but what sucks is that your new job is farther away, right?”

“Using recycled materials is a nice idea, but there’s no way that would work in North America.”

“You liked that new restaurant? I heard the service was actually really bad.”

These are just a few of the likely responses you’ll get when you’re divulging news — any news — whether online or in person.

Bummer, huh?

It probably makes you wish you’d never bothered opening your mouth in the first place. And don’t kid yourself — you’re not always on the receiving end of these type of comments. You dish it out too. It might even come so naturally that you don’t even realize you’re being a downer.

Looking to change your ways? Here are some tips on how to not be such a goddamn drag.

Not every statement is a feasibility study

News articles are great, aren’t they? You can learn about all kinds of things happening in the world. Believe it or not, some of them are even good things.

When you read an article about a new way to save the world or reduce waste or pollution, you’re reaction might be to shoot it down. I mean, it’s a nice idea, but it’s just not realistic, right?

Not so fast slick — this is an article not a feasibility study.

Nobody asked for your input about whether it’s possible or not.

Nobody asked your opinion about whether it was a good idea in your country/neighbourhood/home/school/etc.

Nobody cares about your smart comment detailing exactly why it’s a bad idea.

Look at the big picture — details aside, is this a good thing in general? Because helping people survive, trying to make the world a better place, or thinking of ways to make things easier for everyone is generally good. What exactly is wrong with that?

The answer is nothing. It’s just an article, just words. You’re free to agree or disagree but unless someone asked you to be on a panel to discuss how to execute this idea, get off your high horse and keep your comments to yourself.

People like things you don’t like — get over it

So, your friend loves the new Celine album. You reward them with a sneer and a stern talking-to about their terrible taste in music.

Unless you’re so morally opposed to Celine that you can’t be friends with this person, there’s no need to lay into them because they like something you don’t like. It’s not rational, but shooting down, insulting, or berating something that someone likes makes them feel like you’re attacking them personally. Your friend probably isn’t Celine Dion herself, but will fell like your insults are for them.

You don’t have to make someone feel stupid about their choices just because they’re different from yours. In case you haven’t heard, people are different. That’s why there are a bazillion kinds of cars — size, colour, shape, interior, etc. — instead of just one. You will never EVER always agree with another person about everything. I guarantee it is IMPOSSIBLE.

And I’m not saying you should praise their choices if they truly are bad (Ponzi schemes, embezzling from your employer, stuff like that) but if there’s no harm, just let people be different from you. It’s what makes other people interesting.

You don’t have to join in on negative talk

People complain A LOT. So much that sometimes it’s more like a hobby or a sport.

Maybe people are trying to get support for their opinion that something is bad. Maybe they want to feel sorry for themselves, they want to commiserate, or they want you to feel bad too, to justify their bad feelings.

Here’s the thing — you don’t have to agree. Sure, it’s bad when the guy who mowed your lawn does a shitty job. But instead of agreeing, refocus the conversation away from negativity. Find the good in the situation, like at least now you know never to hire him again.

Flight cancelled? More time to read your book!

Dinner ruined? Time to try a new restaurant!

Cellphone plan getting too expensive? This is your chance to cut back!

OK, not everybody is going to jump on board with finding the good in a situation when they’re frustrated and upset. But you sure don’t have to feed their bad mood by amplifying how shitty it is.

You have the power to lift people up or cut them down

It’s true. Your words have an impact on the people who hear them. You can use them for good, or for evil.

Before you type a scathing comment on an article, or react to a whiny co-worker, or make a face at your friend’s taste in movies, stop for a second. Think about what you’re doing, and choose carefully.

The entire world will thank you.